A New Year? Already?

I can't believe that today is the last day of 2013! I am looking forward to where this journey takes me
in 2014 though.

I'm three weeks post-op and things are getting better all the time. I have added a few things to what I eat, and it's almost like real food! Two staples right now are an egg white with some cheese melted in and a baked potato with bacon/cheddar sprinkle (yeah, that's right!).

Not going to lie, right now...I think New Year's Eve is going to be the hardest for me. Traditionally in my house this is a night surrounded by food. We like to get a pizza (or sometimes make a pizza) and then have snacks out all night while we watch movies until midnight. That's not going to happen tonight.

There's a whole new way of thinking that has come along with this change in my life. I have to rethink how I deal with situations, emotions, celebrations, etc...

I tend to be fairly aware of my own self - I know what my crazy is and I know when I can let it leak out a little and when I need to keep it under wraps. That being said, one of my coping mechanisms is food (Duh!). I don't eat often because I'm hungry (I guess that should be past tense now), I eat because I'm bored, mad, sad, stressed...you pick any adjective and I would find a way to throw food at it.

Being a work at home mom, I think it makes it harder because I can get up any time I want and go graze in the pantry. Yeah, the smart ones out there are saying, "Just don't buy crap to have in your pantry." Sounds logical, but when I'm at the store those BBQ chips sound reeeeaaalllyy good! I know better, I really do, but I just can't help myself.

Or how easy is it on a stressful night to run by McDonald's and pick up burgers and fries for the family for dinner? Too easy! Between my two kids, there are a lot of nights that we have literally 20 minutes between finishing homework and having to be at basketball/football/lacrosse/wrestling practice. That's the time that I say let's run through a drive-thru.

For the past three weeks, I haven't dealt with any of this stuff. I can't eat anything that I would normally snack on or get in a drive-thru, so I've had to find new ways to deal with boredom or my emotions...imagine that!!

Do I still think first, "I'm bored...what can I eat?"? Hell yes! But then I have to remind myself that nope...not going to happen. So I find something else to do - I clean, I read, I work, I play Movie Pop on Facebook (damn time suck that that is!!), I play silly games like Head Bandz with my kids. When the weather gets better I want to walk the dog, ride my bike (okay, I don't have one yet, but I told husband that's what I want for my birthday) or just go walk.

I think that people think that lap band surgery is kind of a "cheat" to losing weigh and that you should do it "the right way". When the fact is, I'm slowly discovering, this is still a lifestyle change. I may have help with portion control, but if I keep doing the same things that I've done in the past (eat to placate my emotions) then I'll end up exactly where I was before.

I plan to succeed at this and reach my goals, so I'm finding new ways to channel my energy and my emotions. Who knows...maybe a new book will come out of this whole thing?

With the new year, I'm going to be finding the new me!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!